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’I looked around and saw Aunt Sally standing next to her 3rd husband (I could never remember his name) they were standing off to the side of the yard in a small group of people, but their backs were to them. Both of them had a drink in their hand. I walked over and stood in the group for a minute right behind Aunt Sally then figuring it was now or never, I reached around her and gave her right tit a squeeze then quickly turned back to the small group and involved myself in the conversation. I noticed Aunt Sally tucking her head onto her husband’s shoulder. Perfect I thought, she thought he did it!Shortly after that people started leaving. I would walk with them to their cars that were lined up on the road and thank them again for coming. Finally it was just mom and I standing in the kitchen, and I realized I hadn’t seen Kimmy in the last half hour or so. “Well, that was really fun” mom slurred, spilling a little of her wine on the tile floor. “It was fun, thanks” I told her and gave. Their honor has been besmirched!”The jaws of the three people in the room who weren’t named Phil dropped. Flushed faces suddenly got pale instead, as everybody in the room who wasn’t Phil assumed he had somehow, against all odds, found out that I really had besmirched the family honor. It wasn’t rational, but sometimes nervous people don’t think rationally.“I challenge you to a duel, varlet!” said Phil, striking a pose. “Whoever can eat the most White Castle hamburgers gets the blonds!”He grinned again. He also shifted his feet, as if to be prepared to run. The rush of relief was like electricity jolting my body, and I decided that I’d jump on Phil’s bandwagon. It beat trying to pretend there wasn’t an elephant in the room. True, Phil didn’t know about that elephant yet, but the longer we concentrated on other things, the longer it would be before his weekend was ruined.“Quickly, to the Batmobile!” I said. “Missouri is far, and I am eager to begin the duel!”“Missouri?” Hannah sounded.
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